


Scared of Happy

by ToDryHerEyes



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a song, Drunken Kissing, F/F, Flashbacks, For a Friend, Friendship, Healing, Heartbreak, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Long, One Shot, Past Relationship(s), Sexual Tension, Songfic, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-23 16:33:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20011402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToDryHerEyes/pseuds/ToDryHerEyes
Summary: Ever since her ex-girlfriend broke her heart and left her years ago, Minatozaki Sana felt her life was all loneliness and despair- until one special girl came along, that is.





	Scared of Happy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jeonpersona](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonpersona/gifts).



> Happy (three days late)birthday to my best friend, Sam. Me asking you for your top five favorite ships, what themes you like for one-shots, if you liked third vs. first and past vs. present, if you like songfics= all me checking out what I should write. I only asked if I should write Camren or Caminah to throw you off and to not be suspicious about what I could've possibly been writing. Right when the one-shot is at 'three years ago', it's 2019, meaning the actual 'present' year is 2022.
> 
> The following one-shot is based off Scared of Happy by Fifth Harmony, a song I've always had a particular soft spot for and one I never thought I'd be able to write a whole 6000 word one-shot for. Enjoy.

_It's been a while since I was lost for words, needles and static and stutters._

Three years ago, Minatozaki Sana's girlfriend-or rather _ex-girlfriend,_ Kim Dahyun- up and left her without a reasonable explanation or even a proper goodbye. Dahyun had a few stressful weeks before deciding to move across the country to 'start over.'

_"Dahyun, please think about what you're doing!" Sana pleaded, eyes welled up with tears as the shorter girl threw her clothes into a suitcase._

_"I already have," Dahyun replied with tranquility. She was tired of arguing with her girlfriend for hours on end, knowing damn well neither of them were going to change their minds._

_"Please, you have to-"_

_"Sana, please. I can't do this anymore. I love you, but this wasn't how I planned to live my life. I'm sorry."_

Dahyun was Sana's first and only love; the one who made her laugh on days where all she wanted to do was bawl her eyes out, who held her close every night during the harshest winters- her soulmate. She carried false hope and waited day after day for her to come back or at least return her calls until it pushed her over the edge. She completely shut down and pushed her loved ones away when they tried comforting her. The girl who used to be all sunshine and smiles was now someone who found it difficult to even climb out the bed without feeling drained. Her whole world was broken, and nobody understood; she was alone.

_Just give me one good reason, drop everything and leave it._

Two years ago, her friends reached out to her to check up on how she was doing after months of being in and out of each other's lives. After a few days of seeing the heartbreak still lingering and affecting her life for the worst, they concocted a plan to set her up with someone new.

"Please? Come on, it'll be fun!" Myoui Mina begged, giving her best friend of seven years puppy dog eyes. "What will you have to lose?"

"My dignity," Sana responded with a huff. She loved her best friend, sure- she was always there for her in the worst of times despite Sana cutting her off for the past few months. The guilt she harbored pushed her to believe she 'owed' Mina, but she didn't feel ready to get back in the dating pool just yet- or ever, for that matter. "I just don't think it's a good idea. Maybe the other girl wants something long-term and will be awfully disappointed when she realizes I can't give her that."

"Trust me, I know this girl kinda well and she would understand. Give her a chance, and maybe you guys can stay friends if you choose not to go steady with her! It's a win-win!" Sana could tell Mina truly wanted this, so she thought maybe she could give it a try.

She rolled her eyes before giving in, "Okay, fine."

Mina squealed audibly, embracing the older girl tightly, causing her to wince due to the sudden pressure she had gone so long without. "I'll go set it up for tomorrow night!"

_I'm afraid of nothing, I'm afraid of no one._

The next night, Mina dropped Sana off at a local bar for her date. "A bar, Mina, seriously? Dahyun _hated_ bars- she always thought they were too wild and dangerous," She explained to her best friend with a scowl.

"Well, Dahyun's not here anymore and she can't tell you what to do, so go out there and live a little," Mina ordered. "If you want me to pick you up, send me a text. Although, I'm not really expe-"

Sana sighed, mumbling a 'whatever' before stepping out the car and slamming the door. She quickly slipped through the large, drunken mass crowding the entrance before taking a seat on a bar stool, where the bartender asked her if she'd like a drink. "No, thanks- I'm waiting for someone." As she tapped her fingers impatiently on the bar, she darted her eyes back and fourth from the picture of the girl on her phone and towards the gigantic crowd dancing and socializing. _Where the hell is she?_ Part of Sana hoped her date decided to stand her up when she realized she wasn't girlfriend-material to find someone who was. Sana couldn't ditch _her_ , however- she would feel too guilty and would also have to sit through another one of Mina's life-long lectures, so she hoped sitting at a rowdy bar for an hour to talk would at least be enough to satisfy her date.

Just as she was about to give up and call Mina on her cell, she felt a set of nails press against her shoulder. "Excuse me," mumbled a low, female voice. Sana turned her body towards the source of the unknown voice. She gaped when she saw a towering female, probably at least four inches taller than her despite the velvet heels. She quickly glanced at her phone for the picture of her date and back at the mysterious woman: same hair, same eyes, same smile. "I'm Tzuyu- Chou Tzuyu. You look like the girl in the picture that my friend sent to me, so forgive me if it's not you." She giggled as she showed the photo on her phone to Sana while using the other hand to offer a handshake.

Rather than on the photo, Sana kept her eyes locked on the taller girl, admiring her beauty and her short, lace black dress. _Damn, maybe I'm underdressed_ , she thought, referring to her casual t-shirt and her denim shorts. Tzuyu had begun feeling confused, so she waved the picture on her phone in front of the smaller girl's face. Sana flew back into reality, grasping the other girl's hand with hers and shaking it rapidly. "Oh! Right, sorry. Hi, I'm Minatozaki Sana, Mina's best friend- well, you know that, of course. Why wouldn't you? Unless you don't because she didn't tell you and probably because you don't care..." She paused when she realized she was still shaking her hand, so she dropped it. "Sorry about that. Yeah, um, have a seat, I guess." _What am I doing_ _?_ Sana pondered, _She's cute, sure, but that doesn't mean she's a good idea. Maybe I can say I'm a doctor and have my imaginary pager go off._

"Did you...start drinking already?" Asked Tzuyu when she sat down on the stool next to Sana.

While this question simultaneously offended and embarrassed Sana, she simply laughed it off. "No, of course not. I wouldn't get drunk before my date arrives."

"Ah, how considerate, really. Most of my former dates at bars were buzzed before I even got to tell them my name," She rolled her eyes at the bitter memories. "To be honest, I was iffy about coming to a bar again for that exact same reason, but Mina insisted that you were a sweet girl and that I had nothing to worry about, so I went with it-" She paused, chuckling. "Look who's word-vomiting now."

"Nonsense!" Sana protested with a laugh. "You sound perfectly normal. I'm the biggest word-vomit-er out there, without a doubt!" _I need to stop- she probably thinks I'm weird. Maybe that's for the better,_ She contemplated, _Perhaps I should pull the doctor card now._

She laughed, smacking Sana's arm gently. "You're funny." Sana opened her mouth to speak, but nothing more than a mumble came out when Tzuyu turned to the bartender from earlier. "Hey, get two Cosmopolitans for me and this cutie next to me," She requested, sending a wink to the older girl, who was now flustered. "Sorry, you were going to say something?"

"Oh! Uh- just that I- my pager went off." She was given a puzzled look. "I work at the local hospital as a doctor, you know-"

She was interrupted by a loud giggle. "For a second there, I thought you were serious. You're so young, you can't be a doctor! I suppose maybe if you skipped grade or two. Or seven."

"Haha, you got me- April Belated Fools...six months later!" The bartender walked over to hand them both their drinks. "Thank you, sir."

"Sir? You're very polite," Tzuyu commented, impressed by the older girl's actions. "Unlike some people I've known.

"Well, you know, I believe in politeness and kindness, you know? Can never be too careful when it comes to hurting people's feelings..." Sana trailed off, reminding herself of how Dahyun broke her heart multiple times, specifically towards the end of the relationship.

Tzuyu snapped her back to the present. "Are you okay? Thought I lost you for a second there."

 _I'm going to need some 'courage' if I'm going to get through the rest of tonight without going crazy_ , She thought."Of course! Why wouldn't I be? Just warming up." To Tzuyu's surprise, Sana grabbed a hold of her Cosmopolitan and downed the drink as fast as she could without stopping, which caused the former to worry. "Are you going to drink yours or are we going to stall?" She questioned teasingly with a wink.

Tzuyu was partially pleased, seeing how the initially self-conscious girl was now calling all the shots. She took her glass from the counter and drank as swiftly as she was able to, but it was still not a match to Sana's record. "Hey, I tried." 

A few drinks later and four wild hours later, they were both buzzed and heard chortling extremely loud- perhaps obnoxiously- at the counter, earning them a few judgmental stares from the surrounding groups and the bartender himself. "What are you guys even looking at!?" Sana snapped, earning a giggle from the younger girl. "This is a bar, have some decency- go talk to your friends, cherish them! They'll probably leave to move across the country and never talk to you again, anyways, so take my advice."

"Wow, bold...I like that in a woman," She remarked with a smile, rubbing the other girl's arm with her hand up and down while staring sweetly into her eyes. "I like you."

"Tzuyu?"

"Uh-huh?"

Tzuyu was caught by surprise when a pair of rosy lips smashed against her own. She kept her eyes widened as she dropped the shot glass she had been holding in her hand and watching as it collided violently with the floor. She wrapped her arms around Sana's neck, shutting her eyes in pleasure over the rough and vigorous make-out that was occurring. Tzuyu released herself from the kiss, eliciting a pout from the smaller girl, who now had her arms wrapped around her while gazing upwards. "Relax..." The younger girl purred with a slur, leaning downwards to reach her head level. "We could always go somewhere else instead...perhaps your place for the night."

Sana pulls her head towards the other girl's lips to plant another short yet passionate kiss. "Mmm..." She mumbled once they broke the kiss. "That sounds nice." Her smile slowly faded once she realized the incapacitated state they were in. "Wait...but how will we get there at this hour? Dahyun always said never to drink and drive..." Her voice trailed off as she suddenly looked back on the very speech Dahyuh had given her when she drank a little bit too much during a wedding they had been invited to. A laugh suddenly emitted from her lips, causing a look of confusion in Tzuyu.

"I-I don't know who this Dahyun is. She family or something?" She questioned. "But, yeah- We could, like, take a cab or something. You know, maybe fool around in the backseat a bit just to mess with the cab driver." She teased with a giggle.

"Or something." Sana suddenly burst out laughing once more, caressing the other girl's cheek with her palm while staring at her plump lips and licking her own. "I'll take the cab, but I'm gonna have to hold on my temptations. Wouldn't want to get kicked out of the cab." She grimaces while reminiscing of the time she was thrown out of a cab in the middle of the night for 'being too loud.' "Now, shall we? Before the bartender notices the glass?" They run out the bar hand-in-hand, laughing joyously like a group of school children running from an angry teacher.

A loud crash erupted when Tzuyu torridly shoved Sana through her door after turning her doorknob after the cab dropped them off at Sana's apartment complex. "Shhhh, you're being too loud!" She ironically shouted, followed by a giggled. "You'll wake my neighbors and I'll have to explain the fact that there's a very hot woman in my room." She wrapped her arm over Tzuyu, swinging side by side. "Woo!" She yelped.

Ignoring her every sound, Tzuyu took the smaller girl on the carpet and lied above her, freeing themselves of both of their sweaters and Sana's top. She slowly ran her hand up Sana's inner thigh while tracing kisses along her collarbone, resulting in a moan from Sana. It had been a year since the last time she'd messed around with another girl, the last time she'd kissed another girl, and Dahyun. She wasn't sure how to feel about the beautiful woman resting over her and pleasuring her with a thousand kisses. I mean, seems easy enough, right? You reciprocate because you would be so damn lucky to have a girl like that, to have a best friend who would vouch for your happiness any day, wouldn't you? Except she didn't _feel_ lucky. She felt as if she was back in the same exact position she was before tonight, which was brokenhearted and lonesome- and it was a terrible, aching feeling.

Tzuyu could sense Sana was feeling some tension, so she separated herself from her body with a concerned gaze. "Are you okay? Is it me?"

"No, no! Of course not," Sana reassured. "Keep going, I'm fine. Just indulging on the moment. _Keep going._ " Tzuyu was slightly hesitant, but she obliged by pressing her lips against her neck and sucking slowly on her skin. Every single kiss she planted was just one more reminder of the girl Sana lost to some fantasy world across country. She knew this was potentially a bad idea, with them both being intoxicated and her still being stuck on a old ex. But she wasn't just any old ex- she was the first person she'd ever loved, the one person who took her from the deep hole that was her harsh past and made her realize how great life was worth living. She knew it was delusional, that Dahyun was living her own life now with a new identity and new friends, but she couldn't help but feel as if she was _betraying_ her, or _cheating_. Minatozaki Sana was no cheater, and she couldn't bare another moment pretending she was okay anymore. "No, no, no. I can't do this. I can't fucking do this."

"Sana, what's wrong?"

"Just get off of me please!" Tzuyu quickly stood up and dusted her dress off. "Now, get out please."

"Sana, if I did something wrong, I-"

"What do you care?! You've known me for five hours!" Sana shouted as her eyes welled up with tears. "Just get out, please," She orders in a calmer tone, keeping her eyes on the carpet flooring below her. 

Tyuzu was about to protest over her former remark, but she didn't want to upset her any further, so she put her heels back on and walked out the door. As soon as she was out of plain sight and earshot, Sana took this as the opportunity to let her tears flow freely and to daydream about Dahyun before heading back to sleep.

_There's something good in sticking to your guns, no one to blame but yourself._

The next morning, Sana awoke with a cruel headache from last night's all-too-wild drinking binge. Then the memories came flooding back to her; she almost slept with another girl. She planned on heading to her kitchen to retrieve a pill of some sort, or perhaps a simple glass of faucet water would do- anything to cure her of the head pain and the physical exhaustion she was experiencing. She could hardly stand up straight, let alone search through dozens of expired, over-the-counter medication bottles for five minutes straight while inhaling dust particles. She hoped to find a lemon somewhere in her fridge to 'sweeten' the deal, and to her delight- there was one!

She sat calmly on the couch while drinking her lemon water and watching some random children's cartoon, hoping the nausea would vanish sooner than later, but there was something else bothering her. Sure, it could've been the overwhelming guilt of leaving broken glass behind for the poor staff to clean up, or for the disoriented drunks to step in, but she was sure it wasn't so. Maybe it was the embarrassing 'stunt' she pulled with the attractive woman from the previous night and that Mina was straight on her way to her apartment to give her novel-length lecture on 'manners' and 'etiquette.' As much as Sana loved her best friend, she was more than willing to tell her to fuck off at any attempt to burst open her door. 

As she expected, there was a knock on her door. "Goddamn it, Mina," She uttered with annoyance. What she didn't expect was the 5'8, Taiwanese beauty whom she pretty much threw out of her own home no more than ten hours ago standing on the other side of the entrance.

"Hello," She greeted with a smile. "I hope you don't mind, I just needed to come get my sweater. I left it here last night so I got really cold."

Sana silently yet hesitantly motioned for her to enter. Tzuyu mumbled a thank you before bending down to grab her sweater that was still spread across the dusty carpet flooring. Since tensions were high, she avoided as much eye contact as possible with Sana before making her way towards the exit. She was stopped by two sudden words: "I'm sorry," Sana all but spoke quietly.

"Shhh, you're being too loud," Tzuyu teased, bringing her fingers to her lips. "You'll have to explain to your neighbors that there's a very hot woman in your room."

Sana smacked her arm playfully, "I said some cringeworthy shit, big deal."

"You don't have to apologize, Sana. I know how Mina can be and if she coerced you-"

"No, no," She objected, "I wasn't coerced. Sure, it wasn't an easy decision, but it's one that I made and I'm not sorry to have met you. It's just that I haven't been out there in a little over a year and it's hard having to find someone else to fill the spot of whom that used to be. It's not even you, hell, I'd go on a few more dates with someone like you if I could."

"I get it, okay? It's tough having to get over someone. But just some advice, stop trying to _replace_ her and let yourself find someone new. It will pay off a lot in the long run. You deserve something good in your life."

Sana was on the verge of tears, but she kept them controlled in fear of being ashamed, so she cleared her throat and turned away. "Well, I still feel bad. I kicked you out in the cold. I probably could have left you with a cab driver and-"

"No worries," Tzuyu interrupted, "I called Mina, she picked me up and I stayed at her place. She took me to get my car from the parking lot at the bar this morning and I decided to come back here. There are no issues, really, Sana and as far as Mina is concerned, everything went fine. You're a sweet girl and you haven't pissed me off yet."

"Not liking the sound of that _yet_ ," She remarked. 

"Most likely means there's something for us. Maybe, if it's okay with you, we could still be friends? And I mean that genuinely, not just the phrase ex-lovers use after they've just broken up with each other. _Friends_ friends," She smiled, holding her hand out to shake once more, as the original time didn't work out too perfectly.

"I'd like that. If you want, you could join me while I watch this kids' cartoon and try to diminish my horrible symptoms right now. I mean, there's no way you're doing fine," She offered as she walked towards her couch.

Tzuyu chuckled, making her way to the spot next to Sana on the sofa. "Don't mind if I do. This headache is killer." They spent the rest of the afternoon indulging in Hangover-treatments and endless cartoons as they shared comfortable laughs and conversations- the first time Sana had truly smiled for a while.

_You give me one good reason, drop everything and leave it._

One year ago, Minatozaki Sana had been sitting and waiting at an outdoor picnic table in front of a few fast food stands located in the lively center of the town. Whom was she waiting for? Chou Tzuyu, of course, as they had planned a 'hang-out' for the millionth time this year. Each time they 'hung-out', the more comfortable Sana became around Tzuyu to the point where she'd even spill her darkest, most unspeakable secrets- things she'd never even told Mina, and a couple she hadn't even told Dahyun. Perhaps it was her kind aura that made her so trusting, but whatever it was, it was working quite well for Sana. 

Today was Sana's turn to choose a 'hang-out' activity, which was eating delicious ice cream and pizza from cheap-priced stands. Tzuyu was all for it and agreed to meet at 2 P.M. on the dot; it was 2:15. _It's only 15 minutes, she'll be here. She always comes_ , She attempted to console herself, as she was one to jump to conclusions often, such as if she decided to walk across tracks at the wrong time of day, or chose to go swimming in the ocean before realizing she can't swim- all of which potentially sound ridiculous, but she couldn't help it. 

She was relieved to hear a familiar voice utter the words, "Well, time's really a bitch, but now I'm here. I promise, I did something useful this time around." She placed a mini-goody bag on the table and pulled out its contents, which contained a pearl bracelet. "I got it for you, even though your birthday is in two weeks. I just saw it and knew you'd love it!"

Sana gasped when she saw the bracelet. "Wow, Tzuyu...it's beautiful. You really shouldn't have, I would've been happy with one of those cheesy, gas station birthday cards that flip out little cartoon characters," She tucked her hair behind her ear and giggled.

"Well, I should have and I did. Enjoy it, you idiot. It's a representation of my appreciation for you." She grabbed Sana by the wrist and placed the perfectly-fit bracelet through her arm. 

"It's perfect. Thank you." Sana blushed, admiring the bracelet for a few seconds. "Can we get some Ice cream? I'm starving."

The two girls made their way to one of the stands selling ice cream. "Wow, these all look amazing. I'll take a cookies n cream!" Tzuyu requested cheerfully as the vendor reached for a cup and scooped up her preferred ice cream. "I'll be paying for both of us."

Tzuyu reached for her wallet when Sana stopped her by placing a hand over her purse. "No, no. You've already paid for this beautiful bracelet, I'd feel too bad. Let _me_ pay."

"Oh, nonsense!" She protested, removing Sana's hand. "Like, I said, your birthday is soon and I say you deserve happy things because I love to see you smile. Also, you already paid last some time, so consider this a payback to you."

Sana nodded, knowing she couldn't break the stubborn girl. She observed each of the flavors for the cheapest option, as she knew the other girl, despite her monetary generosity, was the type to choose from the economical options. She figured it was the least she could do without having to feel guilty about indulging in the highest-priced flavors. "It'll take the strawberry cheesecake ice cream."

After the vendor put three scoops of each flavoring in both cups, Tzuyu handed him the cash and they made their way back to the table. As they spoon-fed themselves the delicious treats they purchased, they engaged in small yet sweet talk to pass the time. "Cookies n Cream has been my favorite for as long as I could remember. My mom and I would always go get some at one of the ice cream stands near some of the hospitals she manages during her lunch break and we shared this very same liking." A slow smile crept up on her face as she joyously licked the contents of her spoon.

"Aw, that's sweet." Sana remembered meeting Tzuyu's mother during the preparations for one of family's famous parties. She lived in a beautiful house and had bedrooms larger than her whole apartment put together. Her mother was extremely charming and talkative, asking Sana questions such as: _Are you my daughter's new girlfriend, what plans do you have for the future, do you like to bake?_

At least Sana had an answer for _one_ of the aforementioned questions. Her and Tzuyu's mother spent about two hours baking chocolate cake and cookies from scratch for the guests and needless to say, her mother enjoyed her presence very much. Unsurprisingly enough, Tzuyu spent the whole time in fear that someone would say something embarrassing about her childhood- which eventually did happen, but Sana found it quite adorable. 

If there was anything, however, that Sana didn't talk about with Tzuyu was the accident. The one from that fateful day when she was 13 years old. She loved hearing about Tzuyu's mom and how much of a role model she'd been for her all her life, but Sana couldn't help but envy her. She would mention her own mother so vaguely that Tzuyu never really stopped to think about what happened. All she really knew was that she wasn't in Sana's life anymore and she never pressed her with any further questions, as to not upset her.

"Are you alright?" Asked Tzuyu, who noticed the other girl's eyes locked on the tabletop in front of her while holding her spoon in place inches away from her lips. "Does the ice cream taste bad? I could get another one."

Sana quickly looked up, stuffing the spoon in her mouth and placing it back in the half-empty cup. "No, no, it's amazing. If I could have more, I would."

"Then what's up? You suddenly seem off. You can trust me, you know that right?"

Sana nodded, looking down at her feet. "I guess I just miss my mom."

"You never did tell me what happened to her," Tzuyu pointed out carefully. "What _did_ happen to her?"

Sana was hesitant as first, but when Tzuyu reached over and clutched her hand, she became slightly more comfortable. "When I was thirteen, my parents and I were on our way to for a weekend trip. My parents had been working overtime every day for a few months and our money was short, but my mom insisted on taking me somewhere to enjoy myself since she could tell being at my school was tough. It was a long road trip and we had been singing old family tunes, and we were happy- until the truck," The slight smile she wore vanished as she spoke. "Next thing I knew, I was in a hospital and found out my mom didn't survive."

"Oh, Sana-"

"Yeah, well, my dad's the most scarred," She interrupted, clearing her throat. "Hasn't stopped drinking since the accident and blamed me for being the reason that the trip even happened in the first place."

"Is that why you were with Mina when you were 16?" She asked curiously, fully aware that Sana spent the last couple of years during her adolescence staying with her best friend before buying her own apartment, but she never did bother to question it. 

"Yup," She mumbled before taking another spoonful of her ice cream. "I met her at school and she let me in. It's how I met Dahyun and the rest of my friends. They all seemed like the perfect people for me and they understood."

Tzuyu nodded, stunned by the information she just learned. "She must have been a wonderful woman to have raised such a kind girl. It would have been nice to meet her."

"She was wonderful, and I know she would have enjoyed bonding with you over your love for singing, man she loved to sing," She beamed brightly at the old memories. "Every year I think about her less and less, and it's scary. What if I forget her?"

"You could never forget her. She's always a part of you." Sana nodded, hoping the taller girl's words were true. She never really spoke of the incident since she met Mina, Dahyun and the girls, but something about Tzuyu made her seem comforting. It was like she said; this girl emitted a kind aura. Mina was nosy and overbearing at times, of course, but would she have met her if it weren't for her best friend?

_Used to be fearless, why am I scared of happy?_

Six months ago, the air was grim and it was not a preferred day for Minatozaki Sana, who had just awoken from her deep slumber at 10 in the morning. In fact, if she were able to, she would allow herself to sleep through the entire day in order to avoid the significance of the date; it was the 12 year anniversary of her mom's death. She knew it wasn't the best idea to try an avoid today as much as possible, but this day always brought tragic memories about not only the accident, but how much it changed her father. 

Tzuyu wasn't going to allow her to avoid it, however. To Sana, it seems as if Tzuyu is more invested in the anniversary than she is. She even offered to drive her out to the cemetery for a proper memorial, but she declined due to her fear of cemeteries; she's heard all the horror stories on the NoSleep subreddit. Thankfully, Tzuyu dropped it and told her they could have a private memorial service in their living room. It's not as if she didn't appreciate her efforts to support her, or that she didn't want to honor her mother, but Sana has never been the type to _want_ to cry in front of others, and this seems like an obvious way to do just that. 

Despite all her seemingly-foolproof efforts to fake sick this past week, Tzuyu simply passed her a Tylenol pill and a bowl of soup each day while declaring her 'physically fit to attend the damn memorial anyway'. She figured getting this out of the way in time to be able to sit in her room in silence and privacy for the rest of the afternoon was the ideal option, rather than waste hours complaining and extending it by an extra one. 

She stumbled towards the room next to her own to find the young girl scattered across her bed, still appearing peaceful. She was lying face-up with her back on the bed, puckering her lips as if she were kissing someone in her dreams. _What a fucking weirdo,_ She thought to herself. Thanks to this _weirdo_ , however, she had a home to live in. Four months before hand, she was evicted out her apartment due to rent issues. Tzuyu happily took her in as soon as she heard and Sana searched for a better job, and now her monetary troubles have calmed down. The house was pretty moderate in size, but had a neat, fancy-like design with marble tiles and a lot of baby blue and beige wallpapers: definitely a step up from any place she'd ever lived in.

Sana shook the sleeping girl's legs profusely. "Hey, wake up, Sleeping Beauty. _Get up._ It's time for the little dwarfs to come take you to the palace with the apple and your stepmother so that you can go fuck your charming prince, come on."

"What the hell?" Tzuyu mumbled, grimacing at the bright sunlight shining through her blinds. "What? I have no idea what the hell you're talking about," She covered her eyes and turned to her side, away from the window.

"Me neither, now get up." She forcibly pulled the covers from Tzuyu's grasp and off the bed. 

After both girls prepared their clothes and hair, they sat down together on the sofa hand-in-hand to commence the memorial. Tzuyu had made herself the most presentable, with a long, silky black dress hanging over her legs and a few pieces of jewelry on her neck and arms. Sana, on the other hand, wore a simple black turtleneck and a 'fancy' skirt that Tzuyu bought for her the other day at the mall, along with a pair of flats she borrowed from Mina. "You ready?" Tzuyu asked, squeezing her hand tightly.

Despite her talk earlier that day about feeling embarrassed about being seen as 'vulnerable', she somehow got herself to let her guard down to the point where she accepted Tzuyu's support. It was a tough process, but she made it well enough to where she could tell her roommate, "Yeah."

The two girls shut their eyes and took deep breaths to begin their few moments of silence to honor Sana's mother. No one was really sure what Tzuyu was thinking this whole time, but Sana sure was thinking up a boatload of thoughts. Mostly just some memories of everything her mother and her did together, such as draw, sing, and bake. She even remembered being taught to dance a few times, but failing miserably.

_"Come on, Sana, you can do it! Just twirl twice at the last beat, okay?"_

_Sana twirled once, then she twirled twice, and finally, she twirled three times. She slipped and fell backwards on her behind, resulting in sudden laughter from both her parents. "Did I do it right?" She asked jokingly._

_Her mom pulled her upwards and gave her a piece of gum and a peck on the forehead."That's okay, honey. You tried your best. Your mommy and daddy are still your biggest fans."_

Her eyes began to water as her mind intensified with the images of her parents and childhood. She tried to shut the thoughts off long enough to keep quiet until she could lock herself in her room to cry in private, but it was too late; tears had already started flowing freely down her cheeks. This seemed to have alarmed Tzuyu, as she quickly opened her eyes at the sound of the sob and began rubbing the older girl's back. "Oh, Sana. I'm so sorry."

As hard as Sana tried to push herself off the couch, she was frozen there. Tzuyu held her close to her chest, leaving a comforting kiss on her forehead. "I miss her so much."

"I know, I know." As much as it tore Tzuyu up inside to see her roommate this way, she knew it meant something for Sana; she was learning to open up.

_I'm coming back, no more running away._

Today, Minatozaki Sana sat on her couch with the 'family' Pomeranian, Gucci, as she thought back on many special memories with her roommate since the first day they met. She was supposed to be at Mina's house for her housewarming party thirty minutes ago, but Tzuyu was taking her sweet time to show up as presentable as possible. She didn't want to appear careless and messy to her friends and theirs, which Sana thought was silly, but who could ever change the other girl's mind?

These past few months, Sana had been growing closer and closer to her roommate. They learned more and more things about each other and have grown comfortable towards the other, specifically ever since the anniversary. There was something about her that even Dahyun didn't have, and it made her realize the better things in life. In that smile, those eyes: there was optimism, pure glee, uniqueness- things that made her beautiful. "Now I know why they say 'First Loves are Worst Loves," She uttered to Gucci, giving him a gentle kiss on the head.

She felt she wasted the past three precious years grieving over a relationship not worth going through all again. Constantly not feeling ready, shutting the ones who were there for her, letting Dahyun take her mind and heart over- all things she regrets. She knew, however, regret was another time-waster and now wanted to spend her years being with her friends and Tzuyu.

"Hey, Sana, have you seen my other ear-" She gasped when she saw Gucci playing with a small diamond earring. "Gucci, give that back! I need it!" She ran towards the sofa, causing Gucci to run off with the earring. Fortunately, it dropped on the floor as soon as he stepped off. "Gucci!" She shouted, leaning down to pick up her slobbered-up earring as Sana stifled a giggle.

"I think it's best you don't wear that today. That wouldn't be very gucci of you," Sana teased, earning a smack on the arm from Tzuyu.

"Let me take this other one off." Tzuyu gave a look of disgust before heading back to the bathroom. In a way, it was as if the three of them were a family already- one that she'd forgotten existed. Tzuyu came out with a small set of pearl earrings. "Okay, are you ready?"

Sana thought hard about the question. She knew Tzuyu was talking about the party, but she took it as more than that; was she ready to start anew? She spent a year forgetting how to smile, until her best friend set her up on a date that ended embarrassingly, but she still came back for more. There was a lot to look forward to, and she couldn't wait to finally live again.

"Yeah. I'm ready." 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, Sam. I hope you enjoyed this three-day-late birthday shot to you. If you didn't, tell me and I'll tweak(?) it anyway you'd like. I'm actually proud of this one-shot and am glad to have written this, not because I thought it was 'amazing' or anything, but because I pushed some personal boundaries I was previously afraid to even dare cross. I used one lyric per verse at the beginning of each time jump to situate how Sana was pretty much feeling. Here's to the longest one-shot/single entry I've ever written to this day. Although, I felt my writing was weak towards the end, but if it wasn't- thanks, I suppose.
> 
> I was inspired by a one-shot where Tzuyu was female cupid and God sent her on a mission to help Sana find love. It was really cute.


End file.
